Death of a Coworker

A coworker died this week.

Likely related to COVID 19 but not yet confirmed.

This is not about The Rona. This is about my coworker “Ann”.

Ann and I were not friends. I have known her since 2001. We were SO not friends.

Both Ann and I had personalities the clashed more times than I can accurately recall.

I didn’t like her.

I did respect her.

A couple of my friends liked her.

Liked her very much.

“She is a different woman outside of work”.

I believed them for that is what I had heard about myself. But I still didn’t like her.

She didn’t let a lot of people see into her heart.

Even before her death I could tell she truly did care about her patients. She cared about her job and doing the right thing.

We clashed. I didn’t like her.

But admired her dedication.

This is very hard There are not a lot of people I do not truly like in my life. Ann was one of them.

This makes me feel like a terrible person.

This is NOT about me. And yet here I am lamenting.

This is a new thing.

I’m sorry Ann: I’m sorry I did not know you better. Beyond your outer shell. Beyond your need for distance.

Sorry I didn’t know you The person who was fun and imaginative. From all I have heard.

I’m sorry I was narrow minded.

Ann … goodbye I WILL miss you.

I wish I had known you better.

You did teach me.

Thank You.