Jeesus … again?

About 6 months ago I had a very unsettling fright. I had to have a breast biopsy and was frightened I had cancer.

It was not cancer. It was a cyst that was actually caused by my previous breast reduction. Some surface skin cells ended up inside my breast. The cells didn’t die so they kept doing their cellular thing… but in a pocket. So a cyst developed.

I went back today for the repeat mammogram… it’s back. And bigger. And this time when they did the ultrasound … it hurt.

So now I need to go see a surgeon because they want to officially remove the cyst. They said that (A) just in case and (B) since it came back again and bigger and it does hurt … it’s just gonna get worse.

Now I’m not the least worried about cancer. Truly. But I’m a bit anxious about surgery. Not horrid anxious. Just a bit.

Then there is the irksome fact I have to beg someone to drive me. And I know that I don’t really have to beg. I have friends who will help. But it pisses me off. I don’t often miss being marries … but in this type of instance … I do.

If I had a procedure then the EX was there … always. I could count on that.

I can count on my friends. I already have a couple of people on alert that I’ll need help and they responded with their typical aplomb.

But it still makes me feel crappy.

It’s ok. I’ll take the help while resentful of their courtesy. The same courtesy I would gladly extend.

Sometime I’m just a mess. In my own brain.