Work

So I got to work today. Early. I had warning.

My bad.

My work world is all topsy-turvy

I lost three docs who were perfectly trained. No… not like dogs … I was trained too.

I now have two of the most – in demand – docs on the list. Cause I do my job … and I do it well. Fuk me. Admittedly FM and I go way back and we Work very well together. But HO is a handful!!! Nice man … very high maintenance.

I want to be the person who is taken care of. Ahhh guess that’s in my next life???

Oh who the fuk am I kidding? Even in this life I struggle to let anyone take care of me. I dislike my own perceived weakness. Yes … perceived … because I would help any other, no judgements, in my place and never think them weak. 🙄

And here is the twisted part (true nurses have a bit of a masochist streak): amidst all the chaos and horrid-ness … I’m honored that my work is so desired. That is embarrassing. I should just be fukking pissed … not strangely flattered.

Well staring another day. And true to form … I’m better this morning. Had almost 24 hours to process so … calmer.

I need hugs. Just long, strong hugs. The kind that make you uncomfortable until you give in and just sink into them.