Ok. Wow. “The Wife”

Just watched this movie. I had wanted to see it for a while now but had … avoided it

To sum up: About a wife who was a kingmaker… and lived a lie. And she was drowning.

Hope that isn’t too much of a spoiler for you.

I was a wife. I was no kingmaker. But I lived a lie. I was drowning.

The “facts” of the story bear no resemblance to the facts of my story. But the lie. The living of my life, changing who I was, pretending what I wanted…presenting a front that would (I thought) make my husband happy … oh those pieces of the story resonated with Quasimodo’s bells.

Those bells hurt.

But the end of the movie … in all of its glorious tragedy … there is hope. It is quiet. It’s not a Hallelujah Chorus of hope. It’s a small speck. And it’s just a story.

I don’t recommend this movie for someone who doesn’t like to think. Even if your life bears no resemblance to the movie. It is painful to watch. Glenn Close was, for me, riveting to watch. Her anger and passion through out was so powerful. And quiet. So very quiet.

I was so very quiet.

I’m not her character. I didn’t live that story. But I do resemble her character a bit. Or, let’s hope … I did.

Here is my hope. It’s not a Hallelujah Chorus either. It’s a speck. I am now working on living my life. I will never again smother who I am just to make someone else happy. It’s frightening and lonely at times. But at other times it is exhilarating and joyful.

My story isn’t done. And I’m learning to make my own noise again. Just one speck at a time.