I really do think I am batty.
I was up almost all night…I know I wrote last night…and it was …almost/maybe/but not really … poetic.
I just become frustrated with my brain. I wake with something on my mind…and it circles and circles and circles…and I cannot stop the “something-train” and I’m awake. It is never something I WANT to think about. And I do try to change the thoughts…I try to make them into something else. Maybe if I can find the reason behind them I can…ya know…GO BACK TO FUKKING SLEEP!!!????!!! Nope.
How about pack them away? Put a new, pleasant thought in my head. Again…nope. I find those pleasant thoughts end up morphing into … unpleasant and anxiety producing thoughts.
I want to be a happier, less tired…(lets say it again children) LESS TIRED, and whole person. Less personal anxieties would be nice too. And I AM better about so many. But when I feel like I have finally put one of my anxiety-riddled-thoughts away…in it’s grave… something new pops up.
Am I the only one like this? Are there any other people out there, who are likely mostly well adjusted…but…have these thoughts…and … crap….
I suspect so…but I don’t think they talk about it very much….
Ruth's Life and Experiences 