Hugs and Cuddles

Friend of mine just posted a meme on Facebook about hugs, how long they should last, how good they feel and are for you as well as how many people need.

It made me think.

I believe that is what I am missing quite a lot in my daily life.

Now I’m now whining about it. I’m ruminating.

In the last years of my marriage I received less and less hugs/cuddles. I would say I also, in return, gave less and less of them. I began to be uncomfortable receiving them from anyone. I remember feeling like I needed to pull away from hugs… when all I wanted to do was sink into them.

I feel bad about that. I don’t believe it would have fixed things if I had not given up. But I can’t help but wonder. Would it have made a difference if I had not reacted to DH pulling away? What if I had paid closer attention? Might we have eventually re-connected?

As I said… I’m not upset. And I’m not thinking about DH I’m thinking about myself. And my reactions. And how I changed to fit the circumstances.

For the future: I will try to stay true to myself. I will try to remember that I am important. I will not compromise my needs and feelings for what someone else decides they need from me. I will also work to understand someone else’s needs/feelings but not compromise mine. (Semi-repetitive… I know)

I need hugs and cuddles. I will accept them. From my friends. From my … whatever. Because no matter what the source… they are good.

So I guess this rumination is more of an affirmation.