Some days I hate my DH/EE.
We were suppose to meet last evening, per our usual Tuesday night routine, and EE cancelled. Now this is not a biggie but we do have a trial date 8/9/19 and we won’t be able to get together for the next 2 weeks…so, ya know…kinda need to finalize some stuff.
Sent him an email this morning just asking if he was OK and reminding him we NEED to get together in 3 weeks.
He responded about the water heater breaking…ACK! that stinks!
And then he went on about how sad he is about our marriage/relationship ending as it is. And…some other stuff.
Now…CAN’T HE FUKKING SAY THAT IN PERSON????? nope. Has to put in in an email…while I’m at work. He says he hopes I am happy and “I think you are” ummmmmm
Ya, like all day I think how fukking happy I am…its a freaking vacation in my brain!
Had a lovely little breakdown. Fortunately my partner is off today so I got to fukking sob out my heart all alone. Really…that is SO MUCH better than having someone not quite know what to do for me…cause there really isn’t much they can do.
There is already a tiny little piece of my soul that is just ever so slightly disappointed I wake up every morning…because a nice quite dyin in my sleep would be SO MUCH EASIER than living with this every fukking day. And I know…I don’t really want to die it is just that would be a nice way out. Don’t call social work, this isn’t a cry for help…I’m not about that…it’s just my own pain that I would like to avoid. But I cannot. So I won’t.
And..today….avoid EE’s pain.
OK, had to get that out, and I’ll be OK. Just need to wash my face and give myself a bit of a head slap. Breathe.
ya…breathe….
Ruth's Life and Experiences 