Date of Court

Wow.  Finally spoke with someone and was directed how to find the date of my court date for the divorce.

August 9 at 9 AM

Ok, I have been awaiting the information about this for about 6 weeks, hence I knew it was coming.  I have not been upset about it for 6 weeks.  I have been a bit anxious because it wasn’t here yet, but I haven’t been upset.

I got the info…I lost it. Just started to cry.

Ummmmm….

I am the one that filed for divorce.

I am the one that will not put up with being in a marriage where there is little love or intimacy.

I am the one that just KNEW I deserved more…better…for myself… even if it is only me for the rest of my life.

But I lost it!  Couldn’t stop crying for about 10 minutes.

I’m … mostly … better now.  I did let DH know.  Have not yet heard from him about that.  I am sure I will tomorrow.

It is ok.  I will be OK.  I just feel the pain of lost years and wasted time and the finality to something that had potential and possibilities (or so I thought) once.