Starting with work. My work partner does an amazing job of covering me when I am on vacation. But it is very hard to do your own work AND the full work of someone else. So things fall through. She gets frikkin tired. When I come back to work, after any significant time off, there is a MOUND of shit and I am in the middle of that mound right now. I’ll get through it but it is very very stressful.
Now the following is not about work: I feel like I am spinning my wheels. Like I am looking for something and I don’t know what it is. I am chasing something and I don’t know what or who it is. It is a very uncomfortable feeling. And yet, part of me (if I really want to be honest) certainly does know. And I am not quite ready to say it because it pisses me off with myself. I don’t like feeling this way. And yet I am very unwilling to verbalize my concerns because I know if I push and poke and do all that stuff I will very likely come out a loser in the end. And I do know who I am chasing. And it makes me feel a lot like I need to tighten the screw that is loose in my brain.
Still awaiting a date for the divorce hearing.
Too many things are up in the air for me right now. I cannot find balance.
Ruth's Life and Experiences 