Hard Truths

Let me Start by saying… I’m drunk

But frankly…. that’s when I’m at my most honest.

This week has been hard on my ego.

I know, that for me, I look good.

But I also know that for most… I don’t.

My week was spent with my gals. Couple of my oldest friends. They are beautiful women. Very attractive women.

I’m practically invisible when I’m with them.

That’s how this week has been. In my happiness at my weight loss I totally forgot how horrid invisible can feel.

I didn’t come down to Myrtle for a random hook up. But I didn’t expect to be invisible. Because I’m spoiled.

Back home there are ppl who know and like me… as I am. Not so much here.

Overheard a few derogatory comments. I tried to brush them off.

That was harsh.

But not untrue.

There is a young man at home who seems to find me attractive (see previous posts re:15). There are a couple other men who have been actively pursuing me. Not successfully…. but I’ll admit the attention feels nice

Well reality popped in and gave me a good pop on the head.

It hurts. I’ll admit it.

Makes me feel a bit like. Ya know. Pointless.

I’m not tho… I must keep telling myself this. I’m not pointless.

It’s ok … as I said in the past … I’ll push thru.

EDIT: and apparently, when drunk, can be at my most moribund. It is a lovely morning. And the day will be beautiful.