disappointed with my reaction

I had an opportunity to be thoughtful and kind last night.  Supportive.  Instead I chose humor.

Oh, I could rationalize this choice … easily.  But I know better.  I chose humor because I second guessed my thoughts and feelings.  I second guessed how my friend would react.

I allowed my brain to take over.

Now this morning, actually… all freaking night … I composed a txt apologizing.  And with grace I was told my reaction was a good one because it lightened the mood.  I won’t disagree with that.  I am sure it did. And I am equally certain that IS what was also needed.  It is highly likely I would have eventually gotten to humor anyway.  To lightened the mood and make my friend laugh.  I am disappointed because I STARTED there.  Not to make someone feel better but because I was afraid and my self-preservation instinct kicked in.

STOP thinking!  React/Act kindly and supportive. Humor is fine but compassion comes first.