As of 6pm tonight I will have not had any cigarettes for 1 week. My official quite date/time is 8/8/2018 @ 1800. YAY ME! I say that to myself. I really don’t want anyone else to say it to me. It isn’t an accomplishment to celebrate quite yet. But in my head it is enough for a pat on the back.
Have successfully gone to the gym Monday and today this week. It was a real challenge both days because my lower back/hips do hurt. But I pushed through and I am glad I did. Will go again Friday morning then hit up my Chiropractor right after that.
Have dinner with a good friend tonight. He is a friend to both myself and DH. I suspect he is going to try to play a consoling role and try to find a reasonable way for me to get back into DH’s good graces. I suspect he will listen and then try to guide. I only suspect these things. I’m going to dinner with him because he IS a good friend and I respect him. I’m rather distressed about it though because I have a hard enough time talking to myself (out-loud) but to say it to one of our dear mutual friends. Not only that but I don’t want to hear anything about how fair OR un-fair the whole thing is. I don’t want to hear I am wrong or I am right. I know, in my heart, so many times I have been wrong and I have handled things poorly. I also am certain the same can be applied to DH. I am trying to take responsibility and I think sympathy/empathic concern can be a pit-fall for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t want anyone pointing at me and yelling WITCH WITCH, BITCH BITCH… I am fairly certain that would only raise hackles and make me pull out my collection of dog shit to throw at them.
I am a complicated mess.
But, I will say, for today and this moment, this 24 hours, I am pleased with the two, aforementioned, items in my life.
Ruth's Life and Experiences 